m-lewis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Obsession/Addiction This morning GMA radio was talking about addictions. The twist is how people develop new addictions to replace old addictions. Like if they give up tobacco, they might develop an addiction for shopping or eating or spending all their time on the computer. To tell the truth, I'd never really thought about addictions to addictions before. When I lost 30 pounds back in 2000, I probably did this very thing. I don't know if you could call it an addiction, but more of an obsession. I walked. At first I just tried to get in 30 minutes of walking time every day. Then it turned into an hour. Then it turned into -- how many miles could I manage to get in every day without looking like a complete nut? Thank goodness for audio books, cassette tape recorders and ear plugs. I could walk and be entertained all at the same time. Audio books became another obsession. I could buy them used on e-Bay or get them free from the library. Then I starting becoming obsessed with "bad" food, like red meat and foods with high fat content. I read everything I could find on diet, nutrition and exercise. That's when I started a food diary, which was really just a small, blank-paged assignment book. I kept it in my purse at all times and recorded every single item of food that I put in my mouth as well as the calorie content and how many fat grams they contained. It was extremely important to never eat more than 1,500 calories or consume more than 23 fat grams in a 24 hour period. If I went below those figures, I gave myself a gold star. Eventually, as many food-obsessed dieters do, I discovered those good-for-you foods: vegetables and fruit and I ate them almost exclusively. Never fried though. I gave up fat altogether... well, obvious fats, that is. And sugar. Let's don't forget sugar. Thank God for Splenda. One warm summer evening as Dwain and I were out walking the three-mile walking trail along Lake Harrison, I suddenly I realized I had actually met my goal. I had lost 30 pounds. I remember, instead of feeling elated, I felt seriously let down -- empty. As I listened to that radio show, I realized something about myself. No. I don't think I'm addicted to anything. But I do believe I am one of those people who constantly needs something to do. Challenges. Goals. But something achievable. Something I can actually finish. I wonder what the difference is between addiction and obsession? 11:39 a.m. - 2007-04-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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